


Amor Fati

by Subatoi_9



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 01:28:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8601844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subatoi_9/pseuds/Subatoi_9
Summary: Section 31 has done the unthinkable, threatening Federation life as we know it. Set 5 years after What You Leave Behind.





	

It's like up is down...  
Left is right...  
Shadows are light...

Those rare, improbable moments where something impossible happens, blindsiding your entire understanding of the universe around you.  
When the world you thought you knew so well, turns to out to be a complete stranger.  
What you thought was strong was more fragile than you could have imagined.  
Your reality betrayed, changing it forever.  
You'd give anything to go back.

Julian Bashir's first experience with this feeling was when he was 15. It had nearly been the death of him when he learned of his genetic engineering. He felt like his own parents betrayed him.  
That they didn't love the boy that he was.  
That they felt so much shame over him that they essentially killed young Jules in favor of an artificial son who'd need to spend his life in hiding.  
Pretty much in hiding, anyway.  
Even after he was discovered and accepted he'd not been able to shake that feeling of shame over who he was. Or truly forgive his parents despite his efforts.  
The events of the past few weeks have made that assault on his core at age 15...pale.

"Doctor Bashir?"

"Jake!" Julian startled at his unexpected visitor, "What are you doing here? How did you find me? How do you know you weren't followed?"

Jake sat down on the rocky shore next to him with his hands up.

"Whoa, relax, Doctor. I wasn't followed. As for how I found you--I'm a journalist. It's what I do."

Jake had grown up so much these past few years. It's been 5 years since his father left to be with the Prophets. Jake was now a grown man. Julian thought he looked more and more like Captain Sisko each year with his shaved head and beard.

"Journalist...is that still allowed?" Julian asked sarcastically. "Why are you here? It's too dangerous to be with me, Jake."

"We need you."

Julian stared at Jake for a long moment then averted his eyes to the sea and sighed heavily. The weight of the universe on his shoulders.

"Miles O'Brien and his family are next on the list," Julian whispered through unshed tears. "I can't, Jake."

"Miles and his family are safe. Or as safe as possible. They're with us."

Julian looked at Jake slack jawed.

"What? They're with us? How? They were on Earth."

"I'm glad to hear you refer to the resistance as 'us'. We need our leader back. We need you," Jake sighed and placed a hand on Julian's shoulder. "It wasn't your fault."

"Oh yes. It is, Jake. I'm the one who got Senator Cretak removed from power and killed. There's a straight line from that to Koval's rise to power. I am responsible for Sloan's death which deprived Section 31 of it's conscience, as astonishing as that is."

"Section 31 manipulated you. Section 31 manipulated the Federation into electing a Tal Shiar puppet through propaganda and fear. And I know why now. Or rather part of the reason."

"What have you found out?"

"The Federation tricked the Romulans into the Dominion War. Koval is keeping it secret and keeping the 'peace' in exchange for...controlling the Federation. After the Dominion and the Borg, we're still rebuilding the fleet and aren't strong enough for a war with the Romulans."

This news made Julian's blood boil.

"So we're giving up the very ideals we fought and DIED for--for-for the illusion of peace? The illusion that we're still the same Federation we were before this dastardly election and subsequent martial law and the invasion of Cardassia and the killings of Federation citizens who dare speak out against tyranny!"

Julian was on his feet now pacing. He threw a stone into the ocean and screamed. "How could so many people be fooled into giving up their freedom! Into becoming an oppressive regime in the Alpha Quadrant! Annexing the weakened Cardassia!"

Jake rose up to look Julian in the eye.

"Doctor, when I said it wasn't your fault I was referring to the execution of your parents when you refused to turn yourself in. I had no idea you felt responsible for the fall of the entire Federation. That's not fair to yourself and you know it."

"I am responsible, Jake. For all of it! I wish I'd actually turned myself in rather than growing a clone from the bio-mimetic gel I acquired from Garak who acquired it from god only knows where because I'm fed up with life!"

Doctor Bashir led the originally peaceful resistance armed only with information and an endless supply of his genius to get the message out despite a now controlled media. Section 31 has mastered using media to convince the people the truth was a lie and a lie was the truth. Julian made great headway in counteracting their propaganda. Many were inspired to rise up. His ingenuity was something to behold. Since becoming free to explore the gifts of his genetic engineering he had become incredibly powerful, yet managed never to become seduced by his abilities. When the Federation demanded he turn himself in or his parents would be executed he called their bluff, but they weren't bluffing. The very Federation that Doctor Julian Bashir bravely served during the Dominion War and against the Borg now deemed him a terrorist threat. The execution of his parents was cheered by the people of earth. It sickened Julian, but also enraged and focused him. Julian then led the resistance now armed and aimed at stopping Federation ships from attacking Cardassian planets. With Miles being named the next to die unless Julian surrendered, he sent a clone of himself which they executed. It had worked and the only people who knew the truth were Jake Sisko and Garak. Even if Miles is now safe off of Earth, they will choose other close friends to execute should Julian be discovered.

"I don't want to live in this absurd universe anymore!" Julian exclaimed raising his arms to the heavens.

"Amor Fati," Jake said simply.

"Love your fate? Have you looked our fate in the eye recently?"

"Doctor," Jake said forcefully, yet with kindness. "Amor Fati."

Julian held Jake's gaze. Those were the words Julian had said to Jake to comfort him when his Father went with the Prophets. Those were the words that got Julian through his own crisis at age 15. Jake reached out and placed both his hands on Julian's shoulders making sure they stayed face to face.

"Doctor... Julian, those words got me through a pretty rough time. The Federation as we know it is dying, Julian. Centuries of exploration, learning and growing will be lost. It's great power amassed used to do harm throughout the Quadrant. We're at a turning point. If we act now we may be able to change the course of history. We may not be able to save the Federation, but we should die trying. I can accept and even love that fate."

Julian's brows furrowed as he let Jake's words sink in. He felt his heart swell with pride. With a sense of duty, honor and purpose. Most importantly, he felt hope. He placed his hands on Jake's shoulders. Jake Sisko was no longer just the son of a great man, but a great man himself.

"Your Father, Jake, would be very proud of you."

Those words meant everything to Jake. 5 years may have passed, but the feelings right now were raw. A single tear rolled down his face, but he never looked away from Julian.

"Jake...Amor Fati."


End file.
